You meant so much to me. But I'm okay now. Slowly but surely I am beginning to feel alive again. After all, there can be no regrets.
I guess there is no such thing as a 'happy ending'.
I shan't call out to anyone nor will I pretend to be strong. From now on I will just be me. I shall learn to live and dream for myself.
She once said:
'I will never allow anyone to hurt me, 'cos I love myself more than I love anyone else. No one shall ever be able to intrude. I own my own heart and no one will ever be able to mess with my head. This is the only way to protect myself.'
I still keep this message in my book. Everytime I read it, I hope to draw some of your courage and strength and passion for yourself. I hope to be able to do the same. I remember I once told bestie that we will never be able to become like that because of the way we feel and handle things. We will always allow ourselves to become vulnerable; we will always open our hearts fully only to have them torn apart in the end.
When we were young we see only black and white. But as we grow shades of grey appear, these confusing grey patches that cloud us from having a clear sense of right or wrong. No one will ever be able to tell you what you must/should do. How can we trust ourselves to make the right decisions at the right times anymore? How do we know if this is the way we should act? How can we be sure that this is how things should turn out to be?
I don't have all the answers. I wish I could just leave all these behind.
