L for Loser.

You who judge without reason. You who malign others without evidence.

Yes, you.

You don't know me. You don't know half my story. You don't know my past with him. You don't know what he did to me and you know what? You don't have any business in knowing, neither do you have any right to say untruths about me. If you have anything to talk to me about, tell me in the face. Show yourself and don't be afraid to say it if you have anything to back it up with.

But seriously, I don't think you'd even have the guts to come up to me, look me in the eye and tell me what your problem is. And I'm very sure you don't have ANY good reason to back your claim up. So you know what, noseyparker? You can burn in hell. One day you shall receive your well-deserved retribution and someone will see to it that you shall be tortured and utterly, socially rejected.

I shall toss back whatever rubbish you started and live my life. 'Cos unlike you, I have a life. Goodbye, loser.

Where to, darling?

Sometimes you give up walking the safer path for the one that is fogged, foreign. You don't know whether it'd bring you anywhere in the end, but you go for it anyway. Because you want to believe that it will lead you somewhere in the end. Somewhere that would be worth you taking that path in the first place. Because you are willing to risk an ending you know for an ending you don't.

Because no matter what happens, you believe it will all be worth it, even if it means getting yourself hurt along the way.

I'm Yours

by Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn
to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A lá peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait
I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved,
I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate,

I'm yours, I'm yours

Somber, somber night.

I wanted to alight, jump into a cab, head home and curl up into a ball under my blanket when it happened.

But I wanted to be there for bestie, and to be honest, I needed her with me more.

We managed to make it through the night together. Eating stale cake at the airport, worrying over and deciphering messages, going over memories, taking ridiculously funny photos, eating our favourite cup noodles, singing to old songs...
You're my rock, my raft, my tree.

I can never tell you how much I treasure you.

Like she said:
M & V, B & S.(:

So I did.

So I said it.

It may have already been so obvious it doesn't matter whether I have or not, but it still feels like I just put everything I have into another's hands. Though it has only been this amount of time. Though it may not turn out to be anything at all in the end.

That week seemed short. Happy, but short-lived. I barely know anything, and somehow I feel I've known for ages. I don't know if I'm thinking too much.

You've known someone for six months; nothing.
You've known someone for three weeks; and...?

How our hearts and minds work, I guess I'll never understand. No time is wasted on pondering though. All I have is here, now, today.

XOXO, Gossip Boy

Boys will be boys, seriously.


8 days out, then a little more to go.


X.O.X.O.

Somebody's crying.

"You know somebody, and they cry for you. They stay awake at night and dream of you. I bet you never even know that they do, but somebody's crying for you."

Strange and Beautiful- Aqualung

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know that waiting is all you can do
Sometimes

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
Cause I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah






You think you're just normal.
You think you can't make anyone feel better.
You think you're no good for anyone.
You think you're going to be left picking up the pieces alone.
But you're not.


You're special; you make me smile, you make me happy.
You mean more than you think you do.
And you're not alone.

I'm here.

Disappearing acts.

Everything will work out in time. Hold it in, let it come to you.

Don't disappear on me now.

Wait, don't wait.

Will you wait for me, wait for you?
Or will you go away knowing that you will one day?

And the days feel like years when I'm alone.

You meant so much to me. But I'm okay now. Slowly but surely I am beginning to feel alive again. After all, there can be no regrets.

I guess there is no such thing as a 'happy ending'.

I shan't call out to anyone nor will I pretend to be strong. From now on I will just be me. I shall learn to live and dream for myself.

She once said:

'I will never allow anyone to hurt me, 'cos I love myself more than I love anyone else. No one shall ever be able to intrude. I own my own heart and no one will ever be able to mess with my head. This is the only way to protect myself.'

I still keep this message in my book. Everytime I read it, I hope to draw some of your courage and strength and passion for yourself. I hope to be able to do the same. I remember I once told bestie that we will never be able to become like that because of the way we feel and handle things. We will always allow ourselves to become vulnerable; we will always open our hearts fully only to have them torn apart in the end.

When we were young we see only black and white. But as we grow shades of grey appear, these confusing grey patches that cloud us from having a clear sense of right or wrong. No one will ever be able to tell you what you must/should do. How can we trust ourselves to make the right decisions at the right times anymore? How do we know if this is the way we should act? How can we be sure that this is how things should turn out to be?

I don't have all the answers. I wish I could just leave all these behind.